These days, you just might be reconsidering your citizenship preferences. When the American expatriates of the 20th century hung out in the cafes of Paris, expatriation was easy. All you had to do was move to another country and take up residence. Renouncing your citizenship was apparently not a requirement of this process. You could expatriate for proud religious or political beliefs. Or, you could expatriate for the purpose of evading taxes in your home country. Unfortunately, this is pretty much what expatriation has become – a tax dodge.

When people expatriated for honest reasons, mostly in the early part of the 20th century, the list of expatriates became a roster of some of the most notable artists and authors in history. Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ezra Pound, T.S. Elliot, Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs, Gregory Corso, and even Jim Morrison were all noteworthy expatriates. Those were the days...

How Do I Become An Expatriate?
In modern times, the process of expatriation has become remarkably complicated. It is amazingly difficult to quit being an American. First of all, the Internal Revenue Service has a say in the process now. They publish a list every quarter in the Federal Register that contains the names of current American expatriates. The IRS calls these people renunciants (as in renouncing your citizenship). The sole purpose for the IRS tracking these individual is for the recovery of tax revenue from the renunciants. The State Department is reluctant to let American citizens go stateless. Proper citizenship or legal asylum in another country is now required; however, this is a time consuming and very expensive process in most cases. And, you must declare or prove that you will not return to the United States. One other thing – you have to go somewhere outside of the United States to start your renunciation. It is not possible to renounce your American citizenship inside of its own borders.

Where Can I Go To Expatriate?
Once the decision to expatriate has been made, a location for your expatriation must be chosen. Below are several options to be considered when undergoing the expatriation process. After your critical decision to expatriate, the first most important decision to be made is the location of your safe harbor from your perceived oppression or ideology.

Canada And Mexico
First thoughts might be of staying closer to home in a place like Canada or Mexico. Since the Vietnam war, Canada has always been a favorite place of refuge for the expatriate. However, over the years, the Canadian attitude toward American expatriates has cooled considerably. Canada is no longer a haven for the renunciator and either is Mexico, although retirees have special considerations in Mexico. It can take up to two to five years to receive approved Canadian citizenship and in Mexico the hopeful expatriate must remain an American citizen for five years after taking up residence in Mexico. By the time you receive the requisite citizenship from your chosen sanctuary, the reason for your expatriation may have since gone away.

Paris, France
The early part of the 20th century saw Paris, and France in general become a desirable oasis for the intellectual expatriate. In a typical French manner, a potential expatriate must prove that he or she is more French than American and show a mastering of the French language and the French way of life. Each case is considered by French government on an individual basis in what must be a very interesting application and interview process.

So, you're more American than French and that eliminates France from your short list. Where to now? Undeveloped nations or an enemy country of the United States might be a choice; but, this is obviously very dangerous territory and who wants to live in Iran or Uzbekistan anyway? Again, long waiting periods in these types of countries are meant to discourage the impetuous expatriate but most cases are considered on an individual basis.

The Caribbean And Indian Reservations
Things get a little easier for the disgruntled citizen in the Caribbean. There, citizenships can be purchased outright in some countries although you will need to take a large wallet on your journey. For example, the island nation of St. Kitts and Nevis will sell you a citizenship for about $125,000 which is inclusive of a $25,000 application fee but does not include the mandatory purchase of their government bonds in the amount of $100,000. It only takes about three months to complete this brief process; however, be aware that the U.S. State Department has been successful in shutting down several Caribbean citizenship vendors since 2001, so potential host nations are dwindling in numbers.

American Indian reservations are another possibility for the potential expatriate. Native American tribes are considered sovereign nations by the United States government. But you must remember that the residents of American Indian reservations hold dual citizenship, vote in U.S. elections and abide by the results of the election. And, authentic proof on Native American lineage must be proven to the appropriate authorities. This option really doesn't provide the level of expatriation you're looking to obtain.

Creative Solutions For Expatriation
A very creative solution would be to stay afloat on the oceans of world as an expatriate. In other words, if you had the money, you could simply take a cruise for the rest of natural life. Since money would be a problem with that haven from oppression or opposing ideologies, you could buy a boat and register it under a foreign flag. For your new found freedom to be effective, you would have to keep your boat in international waters and outside the 230 mile zone that the United States has declared under its control.

And, finally, after exhausting all other possibilities, you could settle into an imaginary nation either created by yourself or somebody else. These types of nations can be found on the internet and citizenships to these places are readily available. But, think about it, if the previous places mentioned aren't suitable or possible for you, then it probably wouldn't be a good idea to place your hope on an imaginary nation. Good luck!

Dirque du Soleil

He's from the past, so he knows the future...

dirque@erichatheway.com

Pérez Prado was a Cuban bandleader and a composer who became known as the "King of the Mambo." Pérez Prado was born in Cuba in 1916 where he learned classical piano and began playing in the Havana night clubs and working as an arranger. He played with Cuba's best known band, Sonora Matancera, and worked in some casino orchestras in Havana for the better part of the 1940s. Prado developed a unique solo style five years before it became known as bebop music to the rest of us.

In 1948, Pérez Prado moved to Mexico to start his own band and start recording for the major record label RCA Victor. Prado began playing mambo music which soon became his specialty. Mambo music is a lively and upbeat form of Cuban danzón, a Cuban musical form and dance style. Like the music of his more experimental contemporary, Juan García Esquivel, the mambo music of Pérez Prado is instantly recognizable by his elaborate use of the saxophone, big riffs from the brass section and his trademark grunts and sounds during his songs.

While on vacation in Mexico in 1950, the arranger Sonny Burke heard one of Pérez Prado's mambos which was later re-recorded and released in the U.S. as "Mambo Jambo." Soon afterwards, Pérez Prado toured the U.S. seeing nothing but sell-out crowds which lead to him recording mainstream U.S. record releases for RCA Victor. Pérez Prado is probably most famous for his "Mambo No. 5" which, of course, was covered by Lou Bega in 1999 and Bob the Builder in 2001. The 1999 movie, Office Space, contained two of Prado's songs (Mambo No. 8 and The Peanut Vendor). Pérez Prado also appeared in several movies in the U.S., Mexico and Europe. In these movies, he always wore his trademark turtle-neck sweaters, vests and his impeccable goatee. Rock 'n' roll eventually took over the popularity of the Latin wave during the mid 1950s. Sadly, his contract with RCA Victor ended in the the 1960s and his mambo music only found its way to smaller labels and Latin music compilations in the following years. Add this album to your cocktail music collection – with 22 swinging songs you can't go wrong!

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Well look no further. We use a secret technique invented by our artist to produce the best and most realistic looking distressed vintage t-shirts in the business. You won't see any fake looking computer patterns here! Our distressed vintage tee-shirt finishes look proper and correct – not fake! You won't be disappointed in these distressed vintage t-shirts. They look old – like you like it.

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Today is the King's birthday, man. Don't forget to pay your homage to the King at the EricHatheway.com Online Elvis Shrine. Thanks for visiting and please come back often! Thank you very much! Elvis Lives!

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"Thank you. Thank you very much."

Dirque du Soleil

He's from the past, so he knows the future...

dirque@erichatheway.com

Will it stand the test of time? That is the ultimate question posed when judging the qualities of something in the art world, the music world or pop culture in general. About 30 years after punk rock hit us up side the head and stomped on our toes, a nostalgic craze in involving punk memorabilia is happening in music circles. And recently, Christie's auction house held a sale on everything punk for what seems to be an untapped market for the famous auctioneers. The younger crowd can better afford the prices for these items that mean something to them rather than some pop culture souvenir that has no meaning in their lives.  Oi Oi Oi

Punk Observation ©1991 Eric Hatheway  All Rights Reserved

But, the prices for what was being offered for sale at auction were anything but punk. For instance, a handwritten show flyer for a famous punk concert staged by The Clash, the Sex Pistols and the Buzzcocks in 1976 had an expected value of $3,000 to $4,000. A poster for a Sex Pistols concert was believed to be capable of pulling in a price ranging from $2,000 to $3,000. Future prices for punk memorabilia is expected to rise as the punk stuff available for sale becomes more scarce. And, according to Christie's, it is not the investment potential that is driving the sales of punk memorabilia but rather the nostalgia surrounding the items.  Oi Oi Oi

A hug is a form of physical intimacy that usually involves closing or holding the arms around another person or group of persons. The hug is one of the most common human signs of love and affection. Unlike some other forms of physical intimacy, it is practiced publicly and privately without stigma in many countries, religions and cultures, within families, and also across age and gender lines. Hugs may also be exchanged as a sign of support and comfort. A hug can be a demonstration of affection and emotional warmth, sometimes arising out of joy or happiness at meeting someone. Hugs – everyone likes a good hug, especially when it is a surprise. Thanks for visiting and please come back often!

Surprise Hug No. 1 ©2009 Eric Hatheway  All Rights Reserved

Surprise Hug No. 2 ©2009 Eric Hatheway  All Rights Reserved

Models: Elizabeth Howard (L) & Loren Lee (R)

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Red Dirt Country, as well as Red Dirt music, takes its name from the color of the soil found in North Central Oklahoma. The soil has a high clay content and stains clothing, shoes and even the tires on a truck. This land is the original land which was opened for the Oklahoma Land Run in 1889 and was the first land run into the Unassigned Lands and included all or part of the modern day Canadian, Cleveland, Kingfisher, Logan, Oklahoma, and Payne counties in the state of Oklahoma. These images were taken in Logan County, Oklahoma on a recent bright December day. Don't worry, the red dirt is there. This old garage and a very large tree seem to have developed an interesting dependency upon each other over the years. Thanks for visiting and please come back often!

Red Dirt Garage No. 1 ©2009 Eric Hatheway  All Rights Reserved

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Scientists have discovered beer in space!

Well, not beer exactly. But they did find alcohol: ethyl alcohol, to be precise, the active ingredient in all major alcoholic drinks and beer, America's favorite adult beverage. Three British scientists, discovered this interstellar Everclear floating in a gaseous stellar cloud in the constellation of Aquila (sign of the Eagle, the mascot of Anheuser-Busch! Hmmmmm).

The scientists have estimated the size of this gas cloud at approximately 1,000 times the diameter of our own solar system; there's enough alcohol out there, they say, to make 400 trillion trillion pints of beer. These scientific types are British, mind you; and, if you were to translate this in terms of American beer (which the British regard as fermented club soda), the amount of potential brewski just about doubles.

In frat boy terms: remember that double-keg party you threw at the end of your Junior year in college (the second Junior year)? Imagine throwing that same party, every eight hours, for the next 30 billion years. You'd STILL have beer left over. And boy, would your bathroom be a mess! Simply put, no one could ever drink 400 trillion trillion pints of beer, except maybe Chicago Cubs fans.

The sheer volume of all this alcohol begs the question of how it managed to get out there in the first place. Despite the simplifying effect it has on the human brain, ethyl alcohol is a reasonably complex molecule: two carbon atoms, five hydrogen atoms, and a hydroxyl radical, all cavorting together in beery camaraderie.

What Is This Cloud?
Theory 1: It's God's beer. After all, He worked for six days creating the universe, and on the seventh day, He rested. And after you've had a hard week at the office, don't YOU grab a beer? Since man is made in God's image, it could be that this cloud is the remaining evidence of the first ever "Happy Hour".

Theory 2: It's Purgatory ("400 trillion trillion bottles of beer on the wall, 400 trillion trillion bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, three hundred ninety-nine septillion, nine hundred ninety-nine sextillion, nine hundred ninety-nine quintillion, nine hundred ninety-nine quadrillion, nine hundred ninety-nine trillion, nine hundred ninety-nine billion, nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine, bottles of beer on the wall!")

Theory 3: Proof of an undeniably highly advanced but chronically dipsomaniac alien society. This particular theory is shaky, however: it's reasonable to assume that if the aliens were going to construct a nebula of alcohol, they'd also have large clouds of beer nuts and pretzels nearby for snacking. Advanced spectral analysis has yet to locate them, but we'll find those rascals!

The truth of the matter, however, is far more prosaic. In the middle of this gas cloud is a young and no doubt quite inebriated star (a celebrity maybe?). As the star heats up and contracts, sucking the dust and gas of the cloud into a smaller area, complex molecules form as a result of greater interaction between the elements. Ethyl alcohol forms on small particles of dust in the cloud, and then, as the particles angle in closer towards the star and heat up, the alcohol is released from these particles in a very gaseous form. And there you have it: an alcohol cloud!

Enough with the science lesson, you say. Just tell me how to get there! Sorry, dude. You can't get there from here. The gas cloud is 10,000 light years away: 58 quadrillion miles. Even if you hijacked the shuttle and headed out with thrusters on full, by the time you got there, the guy in Purgatory would be done with his tune. You'd have had time to work up a powerful thirst, but you'd also be, in a word, dead.

No, the Space Beer Cloud will have to wait for the far future, when men can leap through the universe at warp speed. One can only imagine what they will do when they get there:

Captain Kirk: Oh,my....God! Sulu! What....is....that? What could....it be?

Sulu: Sensors indicate it's a free floating cloud of ice cold beer, captain.

Captain Kirk: Very cool Sulu! I just drank our last Romulan Ale! Could it be a trap, Bones?

Bones: Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a distiller of fine spirits!

Captain Kirk: We need that beer! But....if we fly through that cloud, we'll be....too drunk....to drive!

Spock: May I remind you, captain, that I am Vulcan. We are an advanced race of designated drivers.

Captain Kirk: Well, all righty, then. Spock, drive us....on through! Scotty, deploy the beer bongs!

Scotty: Aye, cap'n. Way ahead of you on that one bro.....uh, sir.

We recently caught up with advertising icon and genius Larry Tate in the men's grill at the ultra-posh country club where some of the biggest advertising deals of the last half of the 20th century were made. Mr. Tate rarely grants interviews but today he was "more relaxed" than usual. This is a rare interview indeed — his first in over 35 years.

Dirque du Soleil: As a principal at McMann & Tate Advertising, you are one of the most famous icons the advertising industry has ever known. What was the proudest achievement in your brilliant and creative advertising career?

"I'll put my number one man on your account."

Larry Tate: When we landed the Wang Chung Noodle Company account, I came up with an absolutely splendid slogan: "Wang Chung Noodles--The Noodles That Taste Good."

Dirque du Soleil: Gee, that's a super kick ass slogan Larry! Any other achievements top your career list?

Larry Tate: Well, there was the Gilbert's Gin Company account. After sampling the client's product over an extended period of research at groovy Lake Tahoe, I came up with the wonderfully fanciful slogan: "Gilbert's Gin—The Gin That Tastes Good."

Dirque du Soleil: Again, another super kick ass slogan Larry! But didn't your number one adman Darrin Stephens actually write the slogans for Wang Chung Noodles and Gilbert's Gin? (We weren't about to touch the persistent industry rumor that he actually had two Darrin Stephens working for him around the clock at McMann & Tate).

Larry Tate: Maybe. Well, darn it, yes. But I was the one who made Darrin stay up late for weeks at a time to finish all the work while I took the clients to swanky country clubs for golf and lots of double martinis. You know...drinking heavily was a heck of a lot more acceptable during the '60s and '70s. And, if you got sloshed or asked for a double martini during a particularly stressful moment, it was perceived as pretty darn funny ... none of this "politically incorrect" hoo-ha. Yep, pretty darn funny.

Dirque du Soleil: So, you drank a lot of double martinis as a part of your job at McMann & Tate?

Larry Tate: I'm afraid you are confused, my good man. I'm an advertising executive with McMann & Tate and an advertising professional. But like anybody in this business I work hard and I play harder. The lines between business and pleasure gets a little blurry sometimes, know what I mean? All that matters really is the quality of the work. Don't you agree?

Dirque du Soleil: Of course, Larry. Would you like something maybe a little alcoholic to drink right now?

"A double, or a triple?....hmmm."

Larry Tate: Yeah, a double martini — no, better make it a triple. Now see? That is funny. And in my day, it was particularly funny to get really smashed and then slurringly ask for "jush one more li'l (hic) drinkie-winkie."

Dirque du Soleil: As I said earlier, you are one of the most recognized ad industry icons ever. Do you think it's ironic that you have been more recognized in the advertising industry than, say, David Ogilvy, Leo Burnett or Donny Deutsch?

Larry Tate: (Hic) Who in the heck are those guys anyways? Can I get another triple martini here? Extra olives please (hic) and a little drier this time if you don't mind. By the way, you are picking up the tab here, right?

Dirque du Soleil: It would be my pleasure Mr. Tate, we're on an expense account today.

Larry Tate: Good man, good man. Now, where is that super dry triple martini? (hic)

Dirque du Soleil: Here comes your drink now I believe.

Larry Tate: (Sips his new martini several times)  Mmm mmm good! Oh, I, ahhhh, came up with that slogan too .... (hic)

"Two triples, good choice!"

Dirque du Soleil

He's from the past, so he knows the future...

dirque@erichatheway.com